For Youth Week Aotearoa, Alice Mander interviewed young volunteers to learn about their work, motivations, and observations about volunteering in up and coming generations. Neo and Alice sit down to talk about healing, burnout, and what volunteering can mean for young rainbow people.

From our conversation, Neo Kenny (ia/he/him) strikes me as one of those unique advocates who maintains both an unapologetic strength with a unique kindness and generosity of spirit. This makes him the perfect person for his current role as Volunteer and Community Engagement Coordinator at InsideOUT Kōaro, as well as volunteering as a leader of peer support groups at The Peer Tree. 

In what’s becoming a theme in these stories, Neo’s volunteering journey began as a beneficiary of the work of these organisations. InsideOUT Kōaro’s vision is for all rainbow young people in Aotearoa New Zealand to have a sense of safety and belonging in their schools and communities. For instance, InsideOut helped Neo establish a Queer Straight Alliance (QSA) at ia’s High School. The Peer Tree offers a community for young people with experience of mental health distress, and Neo began his journey with them as a group member. “I guess I just sort of wanted to give back… or help people in the way that I have been helped. I think that’s why I started both, and then I just fell in love with all of it.”

Now, as a volunteer coordinator himself, Neo has a unique insight into what it means to volunteer for young rainbow New Zealanders.  “The number one reason that people give when volunteering, and when I ask them if they have a goal, is that they want to connect with the community more. I think that really speaks to the isolation that can come with being rainbow.” 

Certainly, for youth with marginalised identities, community can be hard to come by. One study found that one in six rainbow youth did not feel safe at school, with two-thirds reporting suicidal thoughts in the last year. A large number have reported moving towns or cities in order to feel safer as a young queer person. Despite this, the same study found high levels of pride in rainbow youth, with three in five participants reporting that it is important for them to be politically active in the rainbow community. 

Activism and volunteering

When asked whether rainbow youth may have unique motivations to volunteer, Neo reflected that volunteering as a rainbow person is often “very personal”. He says, “I think a lot of the time for young people these days, activism and volunteering is closely connected… In a way, volunteering is more motivated by worry. Most people who are volunteering, for instance for climate related causes, are doing it out of worry, because the climate is screwed. A lot of people will be like, ‘Oh I see things are getting bad for this group, I’m going to help where I can.” 

Neo believes that volunteering within your community can be a strong source of empowerment, but that the sense of urgency and responsibility which comes with it can carry its own risks. “I always say that it’s really hard to work as a volunteer or in a role that’s connected to who you are, because there’s a lot more chance for that emotional stuff to come up, and you really have to manage that for yourself,” Neo explains. 

Burnout and wellbeing

Burnout and its debilitating effects is something most young volunteers can relate to, especially those who work in more political or advocacy-based roles . When you’re emotionally and personally connected to the community you volunteer for, it’s very difficult to create boundaries and stick to them. Every person you come into contact with reminds you of who you used to be, and your desire to give back can end with having nothing left to give. Not only is this harmful for individual volunteers, but also for the longevity of the causes or organisations they are giving time to. 

For Neo, it’s important to recognise the signs of burnout and recommends having plans in place should it come up. “I have a list of things that bring me comfort, like food I like, favourite TV shows, favourite movies… As well as having people who are willing to call you out when you are getting close to it [burnout]. I’m really bad at recognising it myself, so I outsource it.” Organisations can also do their part. For instance, InsideOUT Kōaro makes it clear to volunteers that “health comes first”, and allows volunteers to do as much or as little as they feel up for, with no minimum hour expectations. 

The solution to burnout is also societal. Both Neo and I have noticed that when we ask our friends how they’re doing – many of them youth volunteers themselves – their instinctive response is: “I’m good, really, really busy though!”. Being busy has almost become a source of pride in and of itself. “There needs to be an attitude shift towards being busy. Can you imagine, ‘How are you doing?’, ‘Oh, just chill’”, Neo laughs, “Whenever someone tells me that they’ve been doing nothing I think, ‘That’s awesome!’. Someone the other day asked how I was, and I said I was stressed. They said, ‘Me too… Actually, no I’m not. The thing I’m most stressed about is getting my library book back in time’. I’m like, that’s great! I love that for you.” 

If the personal is political, as the slogan goes, healing ourselves is just as much an act of rebellion as healing our communities. For both Neo and myself, volunteering has allowed us to turn parts of our identity, once stigmatised by society – whether that be gender diversity, experiences of mental distress, or disability – into a source of strength, and a way to help others like us. However, within that, Neo believes there is “always enough time to rest and take care of yourself”. This may be difficult for volunteers in advocacy based roles, in which the urgency of ‘the cause’ can seem bigger than ourselves. However, a movement can only be as healthy as the people within it. As New York Times columnist Tim Steider said, “Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets.” 

Ultimately, it was this potential healing power of volunteering that Neo wanted to end this interview on. “Volunteering can be life changing… I would be such a different person if I hadn’t had the volunteering opportunities that I’ve had, and I wouldn’t have a job! Or I would have a very different job. For me, volunteering has been a positive source of healing as well. 

“At times, when I maybe haven’t had anything else on, and I’ve felt depressed or whatever, having a space where I can actually go and materially help other people has been really important to me. There have been times where the thought of going to a peer support group and leading it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but once I get there, and I talk to people, and share what I’m going through, other people might say, ‘Oh, I’m going through that too’. The community connection, and being able to help people is something that is so important, so healing, and so therapeutic.”

For Youth Week Aotearoa, Alice Mander interviewed young volunteers to learn about their work, motivations, and observations about volunteering in up and coming generations. Ethan and Alice talk about the ripple effect of volunteering, as well as Ethan’s own journey with Youthline Aotearoa.

Ethan Tauevihi-Kahika is guided in life by a strong set of values. “Values are something that’s important to me, and service is my top value. For me, service means giving your time to others. If I can do that in some way, then I’ll do that, make a positive difference in someone’s life.” 

Ethan, who has whakapapa to Niue, Tonga and Denmark, says his volunteering journey started at a young age, watching his mother volunteer her time as a companion to the elderly at local rest homes, and being engaged in his high school’s community service programme. He credits these experiences as building “solid foundations” for his volunteer journey later in life, especially with Youthline. With volunteering being close to his heart, Ethan fully believes in “the kaupapa of volunteering, and the value people get out of it”. 

When Ethan was 15 years old, he was faced with the “lose-lose decision” of choosing which parent he wanted to live with. Feeling disappointed and alone at that moment, he gave Youthline a call, and discussed his situation with one of Youthline’s counsellors. “They were just so supportive and made me feel heard, and reassured me that things were going to be OK. That stays with me, even until today.”  The experience made him want to become that person for other rangatahi: “For me, it’s really about being that person that was there for me in my time of need, for other people’s time of need.” 

In 2019, he began volunteering with Youthline. Starting as a volunteer on the helplines, he eventually moved into paid employment as a member of their triage team, and as a facilitator for training programmes. “The way I see it is that I’m just giving back to my community, and giving back to those people that really need someone in those difficult moments.” Today, he volunteers on Youthline’s Youth Advisory Committee, providing a youth voice into the organisation’s strategic direction. He is also a Board member with Volunteering New Zealand. 

Connecting to rangatahi

For Ethan, being a volunteer with lived experience of being a client of Youthline allows him to build a better sense of connection to rangatahi who call him. “I think it reassures people that things are going to be OK as well, because people go through very similar struggles in life, not that everybody knows about it.” As he points out, this sense of connection and empathy is particularly important for Māori and Pasifika youth, who report higher levels of mental distress than Pakeha youth. In 2019 it was found that both Māori (13%) and Pasifika (12%) youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than Pakeha (3%). Being able to talk to people who can relate to you is integral, and Ethan believes that the more Māori and Pasifika rangatahi who are trained to have these difficult conversations, “the better our community will be, it’s like a ripple effect”. To meet this need, Ethan started to raise money to cover the training costs for Māori and Pasifika youth to become Youthline volunteers. “I didn’t want there to be a financial barrier when it comes to doing the training,” he says

Volunteering brings benefits

Ethan believes that the training and skills you attain through volunteering is not only good for the community, but also for the youth themselves. Volunteering, especially through Youthline, offers an avenue to “know about yourself, before helping others”. The benefits of volunteering seem particularly crucial in today’s environment, especially with the lingering impacts of the Covid-19 pandemic. According to Youthline, the pandemic and its ripple effect has brought issues that were not front of mind to the fore, and youth are bearing the brunt. It’s something Ethan has noticed: “Covid-19 has definitely impacted our young people… Young people were struggling before Covid-19 and after Covid-19, it’s made it worse. Some people don’t even want to go out or go to school because of their social anxiety.” 

Volunteering in organisations like Youthline can be an antidote for our youth, both by giving them the skills to help each other but also themselves. However, as Ethan reflected, volunteering today is becoming harder, especially as youth are having to contend with other responsibilities and financial needs. According to a 2021 survey, one third of young people reported that they or their family worry about paying for at least one essential item, and this burden was higher for rangatahi Māori, Pacific and disabled youth. If young people are increasingly worried about putting food on their tables, are the barriers to volunteering simply getting too high to overcome?

Work volunteering balance

Ethan believes it is still possible for youth to balance volunteer opportunities with other responsibilities. Ethan suggests that finding paid employment that utilises the skills you develop in volunteering helps to recognise the value of it. “Volunteering benefits not only the people I talk to on the Helpline, but it also sharpens my tools and skills, which will only benefit my employer.” Ethan explains, “I guess my advice would be to somehow incorporate it into your everyday work.” 

Valuing the work of youth volunteers is critical, and also important in encouraging disengaged youth to get involved in their communities. When asked what he would say to the people who think that young people are disengaged with their community, Ethan responded, “Our young people have to see some sort of value in the community for them to be engaged. If they see no value in it, if I see no value in it, then they probably won’t do it.” 

Māori and Pasifika youth have been found to be less likely to feel that the community views youth positively. In encouraging youth to engage, perhaps older generations and organisations need to begin by re-evaluating their own attitudes and preconceptions. Ethan agrees that the better question is not whether youth are disengaged with their communities, but why they might be. 

Ethan now works as a Kaiarahi Family Court Navigator, supporting families going through the family court process or considering doing so. He gives credit to Youthline and the training he received there for his current position. “That’s definitely helped with my mahi with the Ministry of Justice, utilising those skills everyday.” In sticking closely to his value of serving others, Ethan has been able to leverage his volunteering opportunities in a way which has opened other doors to him. In doing so, he’s able to fulfil his life’s purpose – being there for people when they need someone the most.